Another test is the trap of final decisions
Such as: “We end the relationship, because I do not feel good with you.”
In the first stages, after the magic of the beginning has disappeared, there is the tendency to stay and wait for a while and then to take a final decision.
“We cannot carry on like this anymore.” It is very interesting how minor conflicts or tensions between the two lovers tend to transform into an irremediable breakage. This shows that the two have a more profound problem, which is an accumulation of unsolved problems. That is why we can say that a couple relationship has many stages of development. Unfortunately, very few couple relationship reach the first stage of development, to pass the first stage, the first test, and by crystallizing the first stage, to move on to the next. In many cases, the first fight or conflict is also the last. They cannot overcome a first major conflict.
A mature couple relationship between two people spiritually oriented does not end with the first fight, in the same way as the spiritual path does not end with the first hard test. It just makes us more mature and it opens our further spiritual horizons. In the couple relationship, we must see things from the same perspective. It is inevitable to reach a moment in which we face certain limits or certain tensions due to these limits, but it is possible and even necessary to overcome these moments in a constructive way, in the idea of continuing the relationship, not to end it. For some people, this engagement in the couple relationship is like when we go to a shop and we want to buy a product that we want very much, but when we hear the price, we are offended: “Ah, but it is so expensive!”, as if we did not expect it. Many times, a couple relationship is wonderful, but the spiritual price we have to pay for it is beyond our superficial expectations and when problems appear, when we have to pay the price, we say: “No, that’s it. We were happy before, now we fight. That’s it.“ In fact, all we do is to fail the first test. That is why it is very important to build a kind of positive attitude. Even if there are problems, they exist in order to solve them, not to destroy the situation in which they appear.
Taken from "The spiritual couple relationship", conference kept by Mihai and Adina Stoian in 2006, in Costinesti - Romania.
Published by Natha.net